Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Out of Control

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U2KqkVDg3zg

Out of Control by John Reuben

What I needed to hear wasn't coming in clear
And what I now know is only partial info
I speak over tempo to put words into motion
You can't stay stagnant with the future that's approaching
So where do you stand it's either break or be broken
Forget dry land, I'd rather stand in the ocean
And let the waves of devotion roll over me
Irony, I had to suffocate before I could breathe
Now I'm in a head space I've never been before
Ever since my feet hit the shore
I tell you it feels good so give me some more
It feels good

(chorus)
It's a bit passionate for your radio
But that's alright though it's good for your soul and it
It feels good to be out of control
I said it
It feels good to be out of control

Now ain't that something
Adrenaline rushing and I'm touching the heart of God
And adjusting rather nicely to the feeling that's inside of me
Alive in me continually guiding me and surprising me
It's beyond my reach but it's in my grasp
I walk steadfast along a narrow path avoiding snares and traps
And all else that seems to keep me from who I need to be right now
I'm thinking clearly and I'm in a head space I've never been before
Ever since my feet hit the shore
I tell you it feels good so give me some more
I said it feels good


_______________________________________________________

This song rings so true to my heart and soul! Hindsight has proven that what I've often needed to hear has not come in clear, mostly because I wasn't willing to hear it. It's amazing how much I could tune out or ignore just because I was too stubborn to admit my weaknesses, powerlessness, sin, and faults. Amazing still is that what I now know IS only partial info! I can't wait to see all that God is going to reveal to me on this journey about Him, me, healing, forgiveness, His will and good plan, etc.!


I can't stay stagnant with the future that's approaching, I am giving into this journey, actively participating in my life. Living each moment, and not content to stay the same.

I'd much rather break, than be broken, but either way, this is the only way that God can truly work in me. I'm ready for it.

Let the waves of devotion roll over me, irony I had to suffocate before I could breathe.

Reminds me of Let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think from Romans 12:1-2 (NLT). I have to LET this happen, without resistance. When I resisted in the past, I would only end up struggling, until I finally suffocated!

It really has felt good since my feet hit the shore!

"I'm touching the heart of God
And adjusting rather nicely to the feeling that's inside of me
Alive in me continually guiding me and surprising me
It's beyond my reach but it's in my grasp
I walk steadfast along a narrow path avoiding snares and traps
And all else that seems to keep me from who I need to be right now"

I really want to touch God's heart more, and adjust more and more to be more like Him. I'm learning how to FEEL my emotions, and experience them as opposed to suppressing them. I'm adjusting rather nicely to the feeling that's inside of me, that is alive in me.

I'm so much more in tune with who I am lately, that probably ever before in my life. I totally feel like I am learning so much about WHO I am, Who God is, and Who He has made me to be.

I feel God truly guiding me, through this season of my life. And it is surprising me that I can trust Him so completely and find rest and peace and hope in Him. Not in me, and what I can do, not in some person, but in Him.

Yet, I still feel like everything is beyond my reach, even though I know it is in my grasp. I have to keep reminding myself that it is a journey, to keep taking one step in the right direction at a time, babysteps, and that yes, sometimes I will stumble. But that is OKAY! I am constantly reminding myself to LIVE in the moment, enjoy it. Even if things are a bit bumpy, I need to experience that, and LET God into my heart all the time. I also have to remind myself that this journey is going to be full of adventure, and that it is not about reaching some destination. The point of it all is to simply be on the journey. Experience all of the adventure, disappointments, highs and lows, and through it all to fall more in love with God, and learn to accept and love who He has made me to be. Embrace Him. Embrace me.

I pray that my feet keep to the narrow path set before me, that I walk steadfast, and keep my eyes on Jesus. I know that I have a tendency to be distracted. A verse that stuck out to me this week speaks about this distraction. It grabbed my attention because it has both the words pure and devotion...which if you've read my first post from Dec. 2008, you'd know the deep meaning those words have for me.

Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 11:2-3, "For I am jealous for you with the jealousy of God himself. I promised you as a pure bride to one husband--Christ. But I fear that somehow your pure and undivided devotion to Christ will be corrupted, just as Eve was decieved by the cunning ways of the serpent."

A verse near and dear to my heart, that reminds me to keep my eyes on Jesus is from Hebrews 12:1-2 "1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. 2 We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne."

I hope and pray that I would remain devoted and continually be purified by God. I can only do this if I LET God transform me as in Romans 12:1-2:

1 And so, dear brothers and sisters,a]">[a] I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him.b]">[b] 2 Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

So there you have it...I am out of control, God is in control. I am going to each day choose to LET him transform me into the person he created me to be.

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