Pushing through the dirt

Lately, I've been painting flowers with pastels...it's been quite therapeutic, and I've really enjoyed expressing myself creatively. But then I started to wonder why I always want to draw flowers. I mean, they aren't even flowers I've ever seen before. Which led me to wonder how awesome it must have been for Jesus to be with God during the creation of our world! Creation takes such great amounts of creativity!

I also love discovering parallels. For example, God using Moses to lead his people out of slavery in Egypt through the Red Sea, and into the Promised Land (which was prepared in advance for us)...and Jesus buying us out of slavery to sin through shedding his blood, and walking with us on our journey until we come to live at our Father's House (which is prepared in advance for us).

With that in mind, I've been wondering why I always create flowers. Then, as I was pulling into Tom Thumb, listening to Wholly Yours by David Crowder Band, I heard these lyrics:

but a certain sign of grace is this
from the broken earth
flowers come up
pushing through the dirt

And I couldn't help but smile....then I quickly grabbed my journal, rewound the music, and copied it down.

In a book I'm reading, "Changes that Heal" by Dr. Henry Cloud, I've learned that 3 components necessary for change are Truth, Grace, and Time. The truth is readily apparent in scripture. And in counseling last week, I discovered that I have quite a bit to learn about extending grace (especially to myself). And time? Well God takes care of that one. :)

Back in October, I was asked to pick a picture which represented where I am right now in my walk with God.

I picked a broken plate.

I thought it was rather sad at the time, until I started to realize that the plate could serve a better purpose now that it was broken. It could be rearranged into a beautiful mosaic, held together by Jesus, the only bond that will never break or sever. I have prayed since then for God to continue to break me. He has been faithful, yet merciful.

I have been experiencing both back pain, illness, and emotional distress (to say the least) over the past 6-7 weeks. It has been overwhelming, at times I have wanted to cry, yet had no tears. And when I finally had the tears, I was at church, and cried in the arms of a dear friend. Another dear friend has encouraged me recently with these words:

I know it has to be hard to go each week and find that things are much deeper than you thought before, but I truly believe that the Lord is showing the "roots" of the issues, and not allowing you to just "trim the fruits" off the tree. But like uprooting anything, it hurts and leaves a scar in the ground - but He is so faithful and will not leave you empty, my sister.

So all that to say, I am continually encouraged to persevere and surrender. The journey will not be easy, but I have the best Guide leading me, and preparing the way ahead of me. He has continually built my trust and faith in Him, and I have no doubt that He will continue this work in me until it is finished.

I can't wait to see the flowers that will be pushing through the dirt!